when the last petal dropped

when the last petal dropped
your heart turned into stone
find myself shivering in cold
knowing that you have gone

when the last petal dropped
couldnt find you anywhere
find myself wandering in vain
hoping there could be a change

when the last petal dropped
this game has come to an end
find myself crying in grief
knowing there is no turning back

when the last petal dropped
i've nothing from you no more
find myself walking alone
this life without you....
when the lst petal dropped

missing you like hell

it's happening again
as moon sees the other side
standing in the rain
in despair i could die

i am missing you like hell
but you dont even know

is close to fourty eight months
still the same ground i stand
lonely soldier refuses to move
still trapped in old battlefield

i am missing you like hell
but you dont even know

i called you on friday
you were in ecstatic joy
with him on a holiday
could only wish you, "have a good time"

i am missing you like hell
but you dont even know

dark clouds coming my way
couldnt evade even if i try
struggling to be sane
but it is damn bloody difficult

i am missing you like hell
but you dont even know

obscure

it was an obscure dream
with a rather obscure figure
strong arm gently on my shoulder

like a leaf that touches the surface of running river

soft and tender....

....it was delicate

in my loneliest night

years gone by

tears still flow

through the window

searching among the fog

for the promise made

that you will appear

in my loneliest night

and i would.........

lay you down among petals of radiant roses

while the shooting stars ignite the passion in us

as the wind gently whisper my true love to you

we swim in beautiful dream under the moon

a wrong time to be missing you

clock strucks twelve
as i fell
deep in dark cold sphere
above me, starless skies
endless night
a wrong time to be missing you

midnight breeze
comforts me
as i cry myself to sleep
candles blown, i'm alone
end of year
a wrong time to be missing you

i wonder if i should call
to tell you i miss you?
should i ask if you think of me today

floating high
falling down
the trouble waves beneath
no excuse, lost reason
anchored deep
a wrong time to be missing you

alone

i didn't mean to leave

or bid adieu

it was a solemn evening

whisper of the February breeze

unsure as i made my way out the door

caught the sight of you in tears, alone

i was drowning in confusion

leaving one that i deeply adore

a battle going on within me

puzzled and uncertain, questioning

"is this the right thing to do?"

yet, i left

i left you alone

like Les Eclareius lighthouse at the end of the world

you are all alone....

i am sorry

i still dont have the answer to why i left....

you were not there!

i ran across the field

in the soothing April sunshine

on a dreamy Monday morning

with sunflowers in my hand

and soul that search for its other half

precisely one year ago

we engaged to this rendezvous

that i'd be back

promised to make you mine

to love you, to be with you for eternity

my heart was racing fast

filled with indescribable joy

as i was rushing to our secret hideaway

the image of you waiting faithfully

under our tree by the river

where we used to make out

and first declared our love

.....but you weren't there

nowhere to be seen.....

i waited the whole afternoon

the sun was at its peak

you weren't there

eyes didnt leave the open field

hoping to catch the sight of you

hoping that you would appear under those clouds

smiling at me by the fences

but you didnt appear........

you were not there

i remember clearly you said you'd be here

you swore you'd be here

that you'd wait for me for a year

....but you didn't

live forever

four walls are closing in
find it hard to breathe
as the light starts to dim
i'd dance in my dream
it's such a beauty
it's such a joy
rise from the grey sea
to the tranquil night sky
rest among wishing stars
as i look down far far away
for familiar faces i've kissed
for familiar hearts i've touched
for familiar souls i've loved
i wonder if they miss me
if i secure a place in their heart
if they carry me in their memory
as i continue to live forever..............in their life

la la land

last night, struggling to sleep
not the babel of midnight traffic
nor the late night black coffee
but of words that haunt me like a song
unremorsefully evoke my sorrow
he concluded that i am building castle in the air
it did make me wonder through till 3 in the morning
continuosly scratching my skull
is that what i've been living off?
my philosophies in life are my foundation
as i flaunted them full of passion
hoping he would be impressed
perhaps he would like me
but it was merely a joke to him
that cracked him up hysterically
as if i go around in la la land
living in a deluded colourful world
not surprised he didnt ask for my number
as he sarcastically said, thanks for the chat

is it worth it?

we are flying high

soaring in the sky

beyond our wildest dream

and we will never stop

dont know where we end up

is it really worth it?

we are running fast

chasing shooting stars

we know is impossible

but we are still running

still chasing uncertainties

is it really worth it?

we are wasting time

frittering away our youth

for the unreachable

but we keep believing

the moment will set in

is it really worth it?

we are living a lie

convinced we doing it right

savouring our highest point

and we keep avoiding

reality that bites deep

is it really worth it?

lonely road home

there we were, a crossroad
she demanded an aswer
where do we go from here?
head down, i stayed silence
distant intention to reply
what's the point?

she had precisely concluded which way to take
she could go on believing her stars were bright on the other side
but mine has always been above my home
there she was in my red cadillac
sped off along the highway
as for me, i walked the road i know best
all alone along the lonely road home

weeds from yesterday

staring at the ceiling

morning coffee in my hand

conversation with a gecko

it probably thinks i am mad

i then turn to my sunflower

it seems to smile at me

thought that is a bit freaky

maybe i should ignore it

channel my eyes to the tele

hoping for something interesting

nothing but a horribly repulsive face on it

oh fuck.....that is me staring back at me

standing cluelessly like a stone

i should be at somewhere now, but where?

double fuck....is Monday and supposed to be in at work

shit! something must be wrong with me

nominate myself to be a nurse

thermometer beneath my tounge

starting to count up to 23

well, i am healthy as ........(whatever identifies with healthy)

what could be possibly wrong?!!!!

ahhhh now i know, wow i dont believe it,

those weeds yesterday must be one hell of weeds!!!

wonder if i still have any left.......

if i was far away

if i was to cry
to cry alone far away
i wish you wont try, tell me i'm fine, it will be alright

if i was to run
to run somewhere far away
i wish you wont be right behind me calling my name

if i was to hide
to hide at corners far away
i wish you wont be frantically searching edges of the world

if i was to die
to die alone far away
i wish you wont be foolish thinking, have me in your arms again

...and he will always be

Here is the story of a boy
He is in love and he will always be

His obsession with his past
Blinded him and he will always be

He refuses to accept the end
In denial and he will always be

His inability to move on
Trapped within and he will always be

He rejects anyone that comes along
Foolishly waiting and he will always be

His only wish is to see him again
Optimistic and he will always be

He knows he is the only one
Believes in it and he will always be

He says there is still glimpse of hope
Lying to himself and he will always be

He willingly murders his future
Marring his life and he will always be

That is the story of the boy
He is in love and he will always be

decision made

dawn is breaking reluctantly today
a battle between dark clouds and the ray
dragging my feet through a silent day
passing the crowds, nothing to say
talk to myself over a coffee break
staring vacantly at the pouring rain
switching over to the news of the day
nothing exciting, everything seems grey
all the colours has started to fade
all my wishes are now decayed
a year older this coming May
another year of monotonous craze
future direction is running astray
need a distraction before is too late
perhaps is time to go away
backpack, guitar and off again
doesnt matter which road i take
doesnt matter if its a mistake
a risky decision i have made
i am definitely out of this place

as soon you part with your wings

send me picturesque postcards

from osbcure corners you are in

mesmerised by majestic parts

as i travel there in my dream

write me your wondrous journeys

keep me from getting lonelier

my day and night have been arid

moisture it with your stories

tell me your latest conquest

to arouse my lonely night

does he make you hard?

is he better than i am?

as soon you part with your wings

i will be running to you

as soon you part with your wings

i will be in your arm again

as soon you part with your wings

we'll start where you left it

waste

open my eyes body awake
mind and soul in a wake
stranded in space far away
a young man has lost his way

free falling far from high
no trapeze to save his life
floating endlessly, a lost kite
0bscured between the earth and sky

a reclusive soul roam in the night
searching warmth of nameless company
vacant gratification behind the light
recklessly satisfy a needless need

lost his name lost his grace
standing idle in this maze
blue devils show its face
a young soul has gone to waste

foolish pride

moon illuminates the night with sorrow
in desolate as my tears gravely flow
to our love that i strongly hold
repeating in my mind, aching in my soul

the night stands still in troubled silence
delicate breeze movingly around me
hoping it breathes away my sadness
instead, it whispers of our love to me

forever fighting to always stand strong
turn a blind eye to what have gone wrong
parading confidence staying headstrong
foolish pride overrules too long

quavering within battered and bruised
fighting a battle i bound to lose
torturing my soul defying the truth
living a lie hopelessly doomed

jaded of illusion i absurdly create
arm wides open surrender to fate
lose these four walls consciously shaped
admitting mistakes, is it too late?

not letting go

i know you keep telling me to forget
i know you keep telling me to let go
i know you want me to move on
i know you wish the best for me

you want me to be strong
you want me to have a life
you want me to be happy
above all you want me to love again

i find it hard to let you go
i find it hard to let us go
i find it hard to erase the memories
the only thing i own of you

you remind me that i was once loved
you remind me that i did have love
you remind me the beauty of love
and i am scared to lose that feeling

first date

oh bugger!
have i bored you to death?
am i that teribble?
shit! must be a nightmare to be out with me
honestly, i swear
i am not usually this boring
i am fun
in fact, i am exceptionally interesting
i am just a teeny weeny bit nervous
okay, i am very very nervous
that is why i cackle with no reason
sorry mate
i am just not familiar with you
not well enough to be myself
besides
this is my first date!

buenos aires

beautiful city of tango

of lovers' burning passion

full with craze and love

melancholic

glamorous

charismatic

oozes sex in the air

we made mad passionate love

on the rooftop

underneath bright full moon

comforted by gentle breeze

romantic

sensuos

simply captivated the essence of Buenos Aires