to you with hate

you're in white playing the guitar
i'm in black sitting quite far
shades of grey inside this bar
drown in red, we're in war

in silence, enraged with hate
trapped within an ugly state
blinded by sweet serenade
trusted you my soul mate

this is how you played the game
after all sacrifices i've made
deserted me in puddle of shame
simply because the name of fame

tearing my heart bit by bit
infuriated me, you piece of shit
can't guarantee, you in one piece
sorry darling, but you ask for it!

...we find ourselves in love again

in the still of the dusk,
where the sky shines yellow,
i ease on the green green grass,
wishing the time goes slow
whisper of wind through the trees,
playing tune reminds me of you,
catch the sight of falling leaves,
one by one, missing you

in these hour of loneliness ,
haunted by the day i depart,
though it has been a long time,
we are thousand miles apart,
i still try to find solace in you,
everytime i fall in the blues,
but you choose to ignore my pain,
of loving you thinking of you,

in this rough time i cry,
only regret that i can find,
you've shared your blue paradise,
but not me there by your side,
more frailer than melting ice,
i am just counting time,
and scarcely feel the desire,
to carry on another night,

i still hold on to the past,
to the memories of you and i,
living in castle i build in the air,
and dwell in short-lived joys,
i promise my love to you,
but you dismiss me to a side,
and plead me to back off,
that for me is suicide,

in this darkness i breathe,
searching for an exit light,
i know you carry the flare,
but you obscure it off my sight,
though is beyond impossible,
you hold me tight guide me out
i keep repeating my favourite line,
"i still believe, someday you and me, we find ourselves in love again....."

temporary shag

i am completely flummoxed
of this relationship we have
i dont think i love you
i dont think you are the so called 'one'
but i do need you desperately
perhaps i fear the thought of being alone
i always call you up
especially when i am bored shitless
i never stop driving to yours
whenever i am horny for a shag
the fact that no one is quite as good as you
when it comes to fucking
cause you do it with great finnesse

perhaps i am in deep lust with you
i crave for you every now and then
and of course.....
while waiting for someone better comes along

my 'human sexuality' lecturer

my knees wobble frantically
at the sight of her
adrenaline pumping ridiculously
each time she passes by

so demure yet highly sensuos
on the desk crossing her leg

tight skirt and leather heels

black hair tied to the back

everytime she eye-daggers me

sends shiver down my spine

incites many filthy thoughts

intensity so hard to handle

reminiscents Halle Berry

in her infamous catsuit

claws and leather whip

authoritative and dominant

i promise to be naughty

i promise to disobey

i promise to be available

whenever you're ready to punish

high

music is all around
in fountain of psychedelic colours
beautiful sight that 'comfortably numbs' me

absolute nothingness tickles me hysterically

plonk like a stone between the seats

conscious of figures moving about

i try to contain not laughing in their face

cause they all seem to be turning japanese

i then tip toe on the dancefloor
moving absurdly with no direction
trying to lock a balance with my yoga trick

but i drop like a humpty dumpty that had a great fall

i am definitely seeing things

i am definitely behaving silly

after i chased away the dragon
together with brew of green and a dash of coke

even angels and devils get the blues

a devil and an angel

exchanging frustrations

confiding in each other

of their predicaments and uncertainties

wallowing in confusion

not content with their purpose of existence

one is sick being hailed

compassionate, kind-hearted, loving.......

all the commendable shits you can think of

the other one is tired being jeered

evil, malicious, destructive......

all sinful characters under the sun

once in a while

even angels and devils get the blues.......

insomnia again

insomnia again

fuck fuck fuck

no more valiums

should have stored more

i refuse to count sheeps tonight

sheeps are boring and overrated

maybe something new

something that hops

one freaking frog

two freaking frogs

three freaking frogs

....hundred and twenty nine bloody freaking frogs

god damn it, useless

a failure attempt

stupid frogs

i know what is effective

a big fat joint

more weed less tobacco

that will knock me off

nell

she entered the room silently
so jaded so lifeless so lost
vacant expression on her face
except her eyes that casted unhappiness

she seemed to be at her lowest
a depressed volcano
ready to erupt, ready to explode, ready to burst
unable to contain her sorrow
she submerged in pain

i offered her my not so comfortable shoulder
and a pair of ready ear
she broke down in tears like a little baby
she confided in my lyrically
her soul her life her heartaches
completely stripped completely naked

yet she was a stranger to me
and i was a stranger to her
uninformed of name

i tried

evening sun ignite end of day
colour of yellow gracing on us
an empty park, we stroll away
humming tunes secretly written for you

so beautiful in your summer dress
scent of lush you radiate
you start to do your little dance
and i, totally smitten for you

i long to make you mine
i want to be the one you love
but everytime i get closer
you step further away

i tried to steal a glance
you kept staring at the sky
i tried to hold your hand
you hid them away from me
i tried to put my arm around
you shrugged but smiled at me
as i tried to tell you 'i love you'
you gently whispered 'no'